What this means.
It's not even the act of going down on a guy, not as such. If you break it down, analyse the act in itself, the physicality of it, it's not particularly significant. On its own, his cock in my mouth doesn't really feel like anything much, it's just a piece of meat, warm, and it tastes of sweat, salt and something else I can't quite describe, and that's it, period. In a purely physical sense it means nothing. It could be any boy's. What it means, really, is that it's his, that I can do this to him, make him feel good, that I can make him say my name in the dark. That's half of it.
The other half, I know, is when I'm sucking him off, I belong to him. I'm just here because he wants someone to make him cum. I could be nothing at all. I'm only here to suck his cock; he can do whatever he wants with me and I'll let him. That's the other half. It's this kind of submission that's so intense it's like a drug, and while I'm doing this, I feel like nothing at all, I disappear, I'm totally erased. Gone. I like that.