I stayed there on my own for a while, in that alleyway in the rain, getting wet. He'd smoked his cigarette till it had burnt right down to his fingertips then he let the soggy butt fall, plop, onto the wet pavement, where it landed right next to his foot. I was rocking slightly, getting hammered by the rain.
I leant back against the wall and let the rain hit my face and run down in random pathways, into my mouth and out again. It stung my eyes; I closed them tight and then opened them again, letting it sting them some more.
When you hurt, really hurt, you feel it throughout your body. It starts in your middle and spreads out, down your thighs and into your arms. Oh it is so easy to say this now, but that was the start of the end, when he turned away from me. That was when I started losing control.